My day rolls before my eyes. Things I've said.
Things I've done. Things said and done to me. Certain moments move in slow
motion in my mind. When the reel begins to move in slow motion that’s usually
the moment God wants me to search.
So,
I search. I search the room for the key players. I look past the extras. I take
in the smells. I move in close to me. I want to see my expression and hear what
I’m saying. Then He prompts me to look into my heart. There is something there.
There is always something there. The something that emotes my expression and
affects my tone and body language. That something that produces the words I
speak.
Seemly, I've said the right thing but my face harsh. Other times my face is soft by
words are like daggers. Then there are those moments when my acting is superb.
I could win an award. Yet, He’ll have me look deeper into what editing can’t
hide. Then I see the ugliness that no make-up could cover. The evil intent that
only He could reveal.
I
have choice. I could repent. I could acknowledge my wrong. By all means I could maintain the charade. There is no peace in the charade. Sometimes there is a
call that needs to be made. A conversation to be had, an apology to be given.
Often times there needs to be a change in behavior or simply prayer for Him to
heal my heart.
I’ve
learned to embrace these moments. I’ve even become grateful for them. They are
grace moments. It’s grace that He shows me my heart. It’s grace that He doesn’t
allow anything to disrupt our connection. It’s grace that He leads me to
righteousness, integrity and love.
He's never impressed with my acting. He wants the real me to be the healed me.
So do I.
