All My Children....

One Wednesday night I decided to stay home from church with the kids. We ate dinner and straightened up the house. Then I put the youngest to sleep. For the sake of everyone's sanity that little girl needs to get her rest. 

I longed for some quiet time with God...alone. Yet, I heard God say "Ask Jordan to worship with you." Jordan is my oldest baby girl. When I heard God whisper that in my heart at first I was excited. Yes! That's a great idea. Then I stopped and realized God said, to ask her. Not to pressure her, not make her, not to guilt her but just ask. 

After asking I went into our spare room. Turned on some worship music and just began to sing and pray. I was on the floor kneeling away from the door. I really thought she forgot and was caught up doing something in her room. When I turned around to change the song she was in the room. Her eyes were closed and her hands were lifted. Let me say, I was really overwhelmed. Looking at her earnestness and vulnerability before God was emotional for me. I had to turn away from her so I could focus on God. We sat there together for about a hour and a half praying and singing. Gods presence was so tangible.

After worshiping we sat in silence for about three minutes. Then I told my sweet girl "you may not have come from my body but you are no less my daughter. You are apart of my heart and soul. Never question my love or pride in who you are. God is the one who gives children. How He chooses to give children to people is different. Nevertheless, you are Gods gift to me and I'm honored to be your mother" She put her head in my lap and wept. I just held her and wept myself. No parent can explain the love they have for their children. It's beyond words. However, in that moment God gave me the words she needed to hear to encourage and affirm her heart.

Jordan is by no means perfect. She doesn't walk on water or have a halo above her head. But she's mine and she's amazing. I thank God that He found me worthy to called her mother. I don't need to say I am by no means the perfect Mom. I drive my kids crazy often. Nevertheless, they are stuck with me. :)

 I pray for other blended families. That they would do just that... blend. Becoming ONE of something new. All of our children need to know how much we love them and how proud we are of them. They need to be reminded our love and commitment to them is not based in performance.  They can't earn it and don't have to try to it's just... theirs.