I received heart wrenching news last week. My husband pulled up a chair next to the computer desk. Turned my face towards his. Looked me in the eye and said. "Markeala, your not funny" Do you believe that? He said me, not funny. I'm witty, I'm hilarious, I'm comical and clever even. Okay so he's right I'm not funny. However, I desperately want to be funny.
I guess I should let him off the hook and tell you the context of the conversation. Duncan (my amazing husband) has been my greatest encourager in the area of writing. He's endured years of me complaining about not feeling creative or clever enough as writer. Last weeks complaining about not being "funny" enough got to him. I told him I want to write stuff that doubles people over with laughter. Really, LOL funny. So after hearing me whine for a while. He was kind of enough to just say "Markeala, you're not funny" but followed up with "your amazing at what you do." I'm a serious person. My mom said I came out this way...intense. So when I write I write with a tone that fits my personality. I guess I've always wish I had a little slapstick in me.
Nevertheless, I think for the first time I got it. For so long in many areas of my life I've tried to be "funny". For a long time it was; I wanted a "stronger" voice. Or just a voice like somebody else or anybody else. In many areas I can see there has been so much focus on what I didn't have that I never really spent quality time developing what I did have. I began to think of how often I've been paralyzed by the sin of comparison. the Bible to says to not compare yourselves among yourselves because it is unwise. 2 Corinthians 10:12 Comparison leads to such diseases as envy, jealousy, strife and the like. We'll spend years or whole lifetimes wanting to be "funny" instead of just being ourselves. Envying the people we think are "funny"
I feel a sense of liberation this week. It's okay not to be "funny". It's okay to be me. I wonder what talent or gift you have that's not being developed because you don't think it's good enough or not the way you want it to be. What wonderful treasure are you keeping to yourself because you don't think you're "funny".
